To Do or Not To Do ...
THIS IS OFTEN THE QUESTION.
today i spoke with a good friend. we discussed how his family's future is uncertain. we went back to the beginning and discussed the impact of TAKING THE VOWS
BECAUSE she got pregnant .
So what do you think? Should a Man marry a woman he impregnated???
26 comments:
NUMBER ONE: i don't qualify to answer this . so having said that, all i can do is give my perspective.
what we're really looking for is for you guys who joyfully or painfully know the EXPERIENCE.
NUBMER TWO: in my opinion i think it's a bad idea. i'll wait to expound after others have joined in the discussion.
Finally a blog that hits home for me i am one of these that this question is for you see i was sexually active before marriage she got pregnant i got married out of responsibility more than love you know i had to do the right thing. i feel even though my motive was wrong i was determined to make it work our marriage i mean i have been married for 9 years i have a wonderful wife and two beautiful boys, the answer to the question is difficult . the only reason my relationship worked is through God and only God you see through the nine years we have struggled fought and came close to calling it quits but i always had my faith to keep me going God hates divorce and until the last few days i have always believed that God was in our relationship but the problem was that i was in the drivers seat. I am not saying that marriage is the answer but if you had any feelings for the women when you had sex then yes get married but make GOD THE CENTER OF THAT MARRIAGE and by all means neccesary GET COUNCILING FOR YOU BOTH your gonna have to have it in order for it to work. if you did not have feelings for one another then you are both sluts don,t get married but do take responsibilty for your decsion step up to the plate and emotionally and financily be there for the mother and child
thanksgiving for your comment.
please share blog subjects that also hit home with ya too.
we are always looking for what interests others.
well at the top on the hit parade for me is this: kudos on trying to man up by taking responsibility for the child.
marriage often is entered backwards, i think the term you used is "sluts".
God at the center is OPTIMAL AND PERFECT. perfect in the sense that life starts at the starting line and not several steps behind because we chose to backup and backup and backup.
GOD wants us to obey. He gave us a pattern, he expects us to follow. however the point of this blog is what do you do, right?
i feel marriage needs to start right. maybe saying it this way will clarify.
MARRIAGE THAT IS FAULTY AT THE END, WAS FAULTY AT THE FIRST.
so you began with responsibility, i'm curious do you love her now?
if yes, how long did it take to love her?
i am 16 years old. i am a girl. i was asked this question. my dad thought it would be good to share what i told him. so here goes...
i don't think its a good idea at all. marriage is too important to start like this.
besides if the man loved the girl, he wouldn't have had sex with her.
he doesn't know what love is.
-sh
I don't think you should get married just because you are going to have a child with someone. I do think that both parents need to take responsibility in taking care of the child. But marriage should not be based on that alone, it should be based on love and yes, God. When I was first married I believed in God but I did not have a relationship with him, neither did my husband. Doubtful believers I suppose you could call us. I personally, was very back and forth, struggling with doubt. We did have sex before we were married. If I had gotten pregnant we would have had the baby and waited until I was 18 to get married. I could map out all the if's I wanted, but what it comes down to is we should have waited. We are married now and I admit that God has not always been the center of our relationship. But with each new day we embrace him more and it's making our relationship much richer than it ever was.
I don't agree with marriage just because you get a girl pregnant. Many people do this and they wonder why more than half of all marriages fail. This is not the 1000 AD we do not have to marry out of responsibility. Yes we have to be responsible but not in the sense that you should marry a person that you do NOT love. To me it is no different than an arranged marriage. No Love = Epic fail.
epic fall ... what a perfect way to paint the picture. and GIRLINTHEROOM, kudos and praise JESUS for MOVING CHRIST to the CENTER!!!
in retrospect, so far, i have witnessed the WHOLE MARRY EM CUZ I KNOCKED EM strategy -- less than acceptable results.
marriage is way beyond responsibility ... its all about ONENESS. this was God's orginal plan.
and who can forget ephesians 5?
ya know, the whole NOT EVEN A HINT OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY NAMED AMONG YOU.
whoa, if we claim to follow Christ, lets instruct our children on how to keep their UNDERWEAR on, right?
hi,i'm 14 years old and a girl. my dad thought i should share my thoughts on this subject.
i just think its a bad reason to get married. i mean, he still needs to pay , like you know, to pay child support.
i dunno ... ???
-- ch
hi,i'm 14 years old and a girl. my dad thought i should share my thoughts on this subject.
i just think its a bad reason to get married. i mean, he still needs to pay , like you know, to pay child support.
i dunno ... ???
-- ch
I came across this quote in an article ,
Births to unwed mothers account for 40 percent of all births, latest data shows.
I wish people spent as much time planning when to get pregnant, with whom, under what circumstances as they do planning their next vacation," said Brown, the CEO and founding director of The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
"The stigma [of out-of-wedlock births] has eroded, and these numbers made me feel perhaps it's disappeared altogether."
thought this might help the conversation along
-sy
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/04/08/out.of.wedlock.births/index.html
btw, i thought you might even want to read the article too.
here is another tidbit, i know this blog topic deals with should you marry, but this report is simply disturbing. pay attention , you co-habitors.
A massive British study reports that “nearly one
in two cohabiting parents split up before their child’s fifth birthday compared to
one in twelve married parents,” and “three quarters of family breakdown affecting
young children now involves unmarried parents.”35
35 The State of the Nation Report: Fractured Families (UK: The Social Policy Justice Group,
2006), 9-13
-sy
its me again, but this is info that needs to be discussed too.
Lone parenthood stems both from unwed births and from parental breakup
after birth. The increase in cohabitation is obviously related strongly to higher percentages
of out-of-wedlock births. But the most important reason for lone parenthood
in these nations today is the breakup of parents after birth.44 And, as noted
above, the breakup rate for cohabiting couples who have children is more than
twice what it is for married couples with children.
Patrick Heuveline, J.M. Timberlake and F.F. Furstenberg, Jr., “Shifting Childrearing to
Single Mothers: Results from 17 Western Countries,” Population and Development
Review 29 (2003): 47-71
-sy
okay sy, these are compelling articles. in fact i agree pretty much with them.
i am a champion for marriage. more specifically, a champion for God's outline for marriage.
hey how about this,
first comes love, then comes marriage, next come a baby in a baby carriage
i came across these blogs on the CNN PAGE and thought i'd include them in this DIA-blog.
Are there benefits to getting married or not?
Gays are desperate for right to get married and get the benefits.
Straight people don't want to get married and see no benefits.
I don't get it.
yesno
here is another one from the CNN PAGE
Marriage was not one of my better choices in life but I got married because my then girlfriend was pregant. While in and of itself, I would not get married again (nor could I ever recommend marriage), I would do so ONLY if child bearing is to play any part in a relationship.
If there is NO intention of having children then, why (men in particular) torture yourself with an institution that really has little benefit
Lmage
ouch on this one, seems sarah has something to add here:
Marriage does not somehow magically make anyone a better parent. I am so sick of people saying that having kids out of wedlock is morally degraded. My fiance and I wanted to have our daughter young, so that we can be there for her for many, many years and really participate in her life, and not have to be worrying about retirement at the same time we are putting her through college.
Neither of us really cared when we get married--we have a stable and normal relationship that we know is going to last. The strings that bind us together emotionally are so much more important than a piece of paper or a tax filing status. You want to tell me that because we haven't had a wedding yet, we are bad parents and bringing our country down? Give me a break. There are so many bigger fish to fry
sarah
WOW i have to admit this subect is very contro. i am the one that origanilly blogged after sam, First of all how many of you are in this situation or have been? ok second I know what Christ would have had me to do. But as you can tell I was not very obidient. third you can give all this advise on line but are you giving it to somkeone you know that is in this situation or have kids that are the whole point of what i wrote was to inform, that God can make art out of junk. yeah i did not have to get married but I chose to I also know that if I was not a Christ follower i would not be married now. i.e. divorced God made art out of a screwed up situation. Most adults today were sexually active berfore marrisge. I all those couples got pregnant but did not get married then look for a whole new stat to pop up. what if's do not count for squat. what happens when you get into that situation is what i attempted to explain. sure I wish i had not had sex before marriage I wish alot of things i did in my past i didnot do It is how you weather the storms you create that show you what your made of. Christ works through me on a daily basis. a further down the road than i use to be I had not of got married i would not had my second son and also experiecned the misscarrage of twins with my wife i also would not have the future that i wilo have. Yeah life probably might have been better maybe not but this is the road I chose. I know alot of deadbeat dads i know alot of father who pay child support I know people that waited till marriage to have kids and got divorced or are lousy parents. truth of it all is God does not want you to have sex before marriage. until you have been there you can only give opion on what to do after the fact. or you can help prevent it from happening to someone you know.
If marriage was about "a piece of paper or a tax filing status" then WOW would it be a lot less work! It takes so much work and so much devotion to make a marriage. There is no rule that says because you are not married you are a bad parent. Some married people are bad parents. BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIP ON SOLID GROUND... GOD.
When did it become okay to pull down your pants insert ----- without comittment? When did it become okay for girls to pull down their panties and allow ----- to be inserted. Maybe if we stopped the above situations, maybe this blog would be just a joke and nobody would have to decide "what is the right thing to do?"
sy
Sy
You are so right!!! when did it become OK for sex outside of marriage. We need to lead by example and restrain ourselves from such open sex. We need to be teachers that sex is only OK in the marriage settings. It comes down to this, stop doing it and we as a society needs to stop making it the cool thing to do.
speaking of the cool thing.
my niece is a freshman in okalahoma.
i won't name the city, but she is in the class of 2012. if all kids stay, then the graduating class will boast 12 kids.
currently, my niece is one of three who are STILL VIRGINS.
9 OF 12, or 75% have had SEX at least once.
sounds like its okay to do the nasty in this small town.
please, please , keep your underwear on until you HAVE A RING , A CAKE, AND A DRESS.
during the funeral and the gathering before and after - i saw so many of my relatives' EXes.
ex wife, ex girlfriend, ex hubby, ex boyfriend, ex adulterer.
please, rethink your party down below.
my nephew asked my sister, "WHY DOES EVERYBODY HAVE TWO DADDYS?"
i don't want a man to marry me just because he thinks it is the right thing to do.
hey, if a guy is gonna sleep with me, he'd better be ready for a serious commitment.
i am too old to just have bed partners.
i don't want a child out of marriage so i am just being the voice that i think hasn't been represented so far.
we desire that every voice be heard.
so please pass on this blog to your friends.
perhaps their voice needs to be heard in our small arena.
maybe thier voice is what we need before we can move forward.
maybe ...
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