Peace at any price or fear of rocking the boat will hurt a marriage relationship. It's OK to fight! Just fight fair.
Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end.
So Do you hit below the belt?
Do you control the arguments?
Decide if there will be a fight? CLAM UP or simply POUT?
Do you verbally assault your spouse?
JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION ...
12 comments:
overall i fight fair.
or at least i think i do. my fiance would probably say otherwise sometimes.
but for the most part, i try to maintain a level volume.
but i raise the decibels too.
i usually am the one who wants to avoid the fight, YET I AM THE ONE WHO CAUSES FIGHTS.
wierd, huh???
I used to avoid fights by leaving home... when I realized that wasn't working I took a different approach and I would take him out side on the porch to spill out what I had to say. It's always been hard for him to open up and I have not known the reason. It has in these past few months gotten better, little by little... Perhaps he was holding back his anger because of MY anger.
In my relationship Betty and I really do not FIGHT. We had spent too much energy in our first marriages fighting that we learned how to fight. WE DO disagree on issues, but we do not yell or say hurtful things. What usually happens is I sit there and listen then I do not respond until later after I had time to digest and think about what was said. Then I give my opinion. We talk and NOT YELL. I think that when you raise your voice then YOU are provoking the elevation of the fight. If you are like me and like to fight for the make up after wards. IF you are not like me then be the better person and remain calm. Usually when one of the persons remain calm then they control the situation not necessary the argument but will control how you argue. Basically what I am trying to say is this, remain calm!!!! and talk like human beings and not like you are kids and do not know how to control their feelings.
Curious, just thought I'd throw this out there.
I heard if a couple says "we never fight." then it means one of them is a doormat.
Do you think this is true?
-sy
yeah pretty much, sy
i would say more often than nought, it is probably true.
just my opinion.
My exwife and I fought alot. That had a part in our divorce. Its funny that she and i get along better now that were divorced.
why did you fight alot?
have you sense figured that out?
we fought because we were two differnet people.
two different people...
are most couples different?
isn't this what draws us together?
so what difference caused the fights?
if the spot below the belt is open, i will probably try to aim there.
not nice, right?
SAVANNAH, I DON'T GET YOU AT ALL.
I WONDER IF YOU EVEN ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.
-SY
please play nice, sy
playing nice helps facilitate the conversation.
thanks.
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