Today 1 in 3 will divorce at some point in their adult life.So with the blended family becoming more normal than the exception, a question has become the forefront issue inside many homes.
In short, do the the kiddos come before the new spouse, OR does YOUR NEW spouse come first, before your kiddos?
8 comments:
if i were to remarry... (assuming my bride died and/or broke the marriage covenant with adultery)
I'D HAVE TO SAY THAT MY NEW BRIDE, MY 2ND WIFE would have to come before my kiddos.
let me explain ... i believe marriage is ALL ABOUT BECOMING ONE.
ONENESS is the goal for couples, to be totally united.
i believe if my kiddos came first, then i have left open the door for division. she and i must be in unity , assuming all things are right.
i wouldn't love my kiddos any less, treat them different, in fact they'd really have to sign off on me getting married to this new woman too.
but just like their momma now, she and i are ONE, and my kiddos AREN'T GONNA DIVIDE US. NIETHER WILL THEY PLAY US AGAINST THE OTHER, or at least this is my strategy.
frodo here, sorry my brother but i have to disagree. true for the first marrige but as for a new mother for my kids i would have to say that my kids would come first. given certain senerios my children have lost a parent noone entering the family is going to be able to replace that.i will always love my children but will never be able to love another like my spouse. therefore a oneness will never be truly one because of what i shared with my spouse. but my children will always be my children. i would not expect my bride to have complete oneness either. no matter what the circumstance behind the dissolvement of our marriage there will always be a void that will never be filled.
interesting bruther.
think of a scenario where your boy wants to go out. maybe a girl, maybe a group . whatever.
now your bride thinks it's a bad idea and votes no.
your boy is ticked. your wife has vaild reasons. you're kinda iffy.
do you vote with your son, or stand side by side with your new bride.
this really what the question is asking.
sorry for me not being clearer.
what say you, frodo
frodo here,
even in that situation i believe that if the reasons are valid then i might agree but i under the impression of younger kids that just lost a mom most youngsters are very stand offish very hard dission to make if you have never been down that path but there is more to a marriage than those type of decsions. for instance the new spouse has kids of there own. or they want the kids to attend a different school or they bring to the table a different standard of discipline that is not your way of doing things or perhaps a different way they keep house and the kids room. lots of different equations to the situation. having a new parent with kids alreary out of diapers brings to the table all different variations. lets turn the table say your new spouse is in total disagreement in how you discipline your kids who do side with.
whats up everyone? im in the process of getting a divorce. my plans are to stay single unless that one special person wants to get married and then yes, i would get remarried. in my first marriage, my bride came before my kiddos. now that im almost divorced, my kiddos are first in my life. the "special someone" knows that my kids are my life and that if she and i ever got married, then i know that she would understand why my kiddos would be first before her. i have no doubt that this would be a problem with her. actually my kids know her and like her very much. so who knows, will there be a second bride in my like or wil there not be one?
so ... you've got a special someone, cool.
but didn't you say that "im in the process of getting a divorce."
seems like your order of importance is outta whack, i like the fact your kiddos come first, but do you think having a new lady while they share you with mom actually is in their best interests?
just asking
to me, my marriage is over. so i think its ok for me to have a lady friend that i can go out on dates with and do stuff with. i dont take time away from my kiddos to spend time with her. so therefore, my kiddos come first. my kiddos like this lady friend of mine. they new her b4 my divorce started.
hey anonymous 9:31pm,
you asked a pretty relevant question. anonymous 10:26pm, thanks for replying.
i like to see blog conversation move forward.
thanks you two!
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